Here's a public service announcement - never under any circumstances Google your medication. Or any medication you might be taking in the future. Back away from the keyboard slowly and deliberately and only return once the morbid curiosity fades. Made that mistake a while ago, and promptly freaked out because apparently Lexapro makes everyone gain 30+ lbs when they take it. This is not the case. But I didn't learn my lesson and looked up popular mood stabilizers earlier. That was a bad life choice.
I've been trying to articulate my thoughts on how I want the project's social platform to work, and today I had a few small revelations. There are plenty of communities out there whose members support each other, what would be so different about this one? The thing is, when you're a depressed person having a rough day its really hard to reach out to other people a lot of the time, even people who have offered their support multiple times. They could be afraid of using up all their "help tokens" and their friends will just give up on a lost cause. Perhaps they feel like, for all their kindness other people just don't get it and they don't have the energy to try and explain. After all the natural response to the statement "I'm really sad right now" is to ask what's wrong. Its frustrating to not have an answer to that question. So sometimes we don't bother. But what if you had a place to go where everyone knows exactly what you're talking about? Its the support group mentality I suppose - it would be a community for depressed folks first who happen to also be gamers. Like most ideas, I doubt this is a new thing - there's got to be something like that already in existence. Sure there'll be lots of conversation about whatever the group's common passion is but there is also a clear focus is on venting and supporting each other. And most of all understanding.
So taking it back to the game, I want it to be an environment where two people across the world from each other could get together for a mission/quest/whatever and chatting about an unexpected fit of hopelessness or an afternoon of being unable to concentrate over the jerk in your head is just a normal thing that happens. I also want people who are doing better to be rewarded for diving into the game with someone who's not. I've thought a bit about what those rewards would be and while I don't have specifics I know I want them to be visual and toggle-able. For example, say I'm having a good week and things are going well. I've used some of my free time to quest with players who aren't doing so hot, and because the game has integrated VOIP, listened to them talk about what's bothering them and offer my advice. Doing that nets me some kind of sparkly aura, nifty armor skin, or some cosmetic thing that differentiates me in-game as a person-willing-to-help. This reward would probably be based on XP given after the players I play with tell the game whether or not I was understanding. Of course a mechanic like this, rather than being dependent on one players own actions, would depend on the community as a whole to act. I don't think this is a bad thing. I also said I wanted it to be toggle-able because sometimes I'm not feeling up to helping. Maybe the internal catastrophizing is particularly bad, or Bob Ross is being melancholic again. So I can turn off my "Community Mentor" aura thing to let the game know I don't want to be approached.
This, along with the panic button I'll get into soon, was one of the first things I thought of when this idea started germinating in my head because I believe that helping other people is a powerful healing tool. It gives us a sense of agency - and by that I mean the power to affect the world around us and not just ourselves. This is something depression sufferers desperately need. Oftentimes we're plagued by hopelessness, helplessness, and the sense that everything is "just too much". But how hard is it to log in to a game you were going to play anyway and let someone cry on your shoulder for a few minutes? Depression is actually a pretty selfish disease (I say that of the disease, not the people who have it, mind) - it convinces us we're the center of a horrifying maelstrom of nastiness, the worst suffering is ours and no one could possibly understand. That's clearly not accurate, and by helping people in a similar situation we have irrevocable proof that we're not at the heart of a world of pain. Also, and this is true for anyone, helping people feels good. Seriously, has anyone ever in the world helped someone carry their groceries and then thought "Man this feeling of altruistic accomplishment is completely wrecking my day"?
The idea of solidarity is important when dealing with depression, I think, because its such an isolatory disease. Your brain fools you into thinking you're alone, that no one wants to help you, that you shouldn't reach out. In the end, reaching out to someone you know is in the same situation is much easier because they understand. Have you not showered for days because doing basic human stuff is as perplexing as the labyrinth? They've been there, they won't judge. That's not to say people who don't deal with MDD can't understand or will judge, but when your whole self is screaming at you to shut the hell up and stop bothering people, its slightly less hard to bother someone you know "gets it".
I'm calling the mechanic "Community XP" for the time being. How it would be calculated is something I'm not sure of yet. There are a lot of things where I am not sure of the calculation methods, which reminds me of that line in the Dark Knight from the Joker - "I just do things".
I just think things, guys.
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